”Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”“ II Samuel 13:15 NKJV
a. Amnon hated her exceedingly: This revealed Amnon’s attraction for Tamar for what it was – lust, not love. Amnon was attracted to Tamar for what he could get from her, not out of concern for her. In many lustful relationships there is a combination of both love and lust but in Amnon’s attraction there was only lust.
i. In this single-minded lust, Amnon only built upon the example of his father David. David was never this dominated by lust, but he was pointed in the same direction. David’s multiple marriages (2 Samuel 3:2-5) and his adultery with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:2-4) displayed this same tendency.
ii. This is often how the iniquity of the fathers is carried on by the children to the third and fourth generations (Exodus 20:5). A child will often model a parent’s sinful behavior and may go further in the of sin the parent.
b. The hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her: Amnon had no real love for Tamar, only lust – and so he immediately felt guilty over his sin. Tamar was simply a reminder of his foolish sin. He wanted every reminder of his sin to be put far away. (Guzik)
i. “Let me give a friendly, fatherly tip unto all of you young girls, who may be in the position of Tamar, in that you have some fellow who is really pressing hard to have sex with you. He is the soul of kindness. He is very attentive. He calls all the time. He opens the door for you. He brings you flowers, but he’s pushing hard for a sexual relationship. Don’t give in. If you really love him, make him wait until you’re married. If he really loves you, he will. Over and over, time and again, the fellow will press and press until he has taken you to bed, and that’s the last you see or hear from him. You’re no longer a challenge. He’s conquered, and he’s off for new conquests. If you really love him and want him, make him wait. If you really love God, and love yourself, make him wait.” (Smith)
Iniquity of the Fathers!
As leaders of a Christian based twelve step program I’ve seen Exodus 20:5 played out in real time.
”you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,“
Exodus 20:5 NKJV
Alcohol, drugs, lust, anger, desertion, divorce and the list goes on. Learned behavior from parents during childhood passes on from generation to generation.
But there is hope! Jesus can set you free and break the chains!
”Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.“ Galatians 5:1 NKJV
Do you know anyone under the yoke of bondage that needs help and encouragement?
Blessings
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